"Look, MA. No Rudder!"
The Evangelical Paddler's
Supply Store
by John Winters
Your Internet Source for rudderless paddling enjoyment
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Our very own "Condescending Paddler's Mask"
with built in radar reflector, Save you the trouble of remembering to
sneer every time you pass a kayak with a rudder on the highway - Just in time for Halloween. $12.95 ea. $25.95 for two. |
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Sneaky Rudder. Sneaky rudder mounts under your kayak and can easily be
slipped on or off when no one is looking. Allows you to reap the benefits
of a rudder without having to eat crow. Mounting instructions and duct
tape included.
$115.00 ea. F.O.B factory |
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Traditionalists "Sneaky Rudder" in wood.
Complete with naval bronze mounting hardware.
$739.00 F.O.B. Greenland Factory |
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Crow - In case you get caught attaching Sneaky Rudder, $17.98 One dozen crows gift boxed if you are just hungry. $186.00 Shipping only in the Continental US |
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Evangelical Paddler Sweat Shirt - Made from Polartech 300 our
classic sweat reads "Evangelists Do It Without Moving" on back. Front shown with logo of famous ultra conservative University of your choice. I $38.98 |
| "Rudders Are A
Drag" "Clean hands, Clean heart, Clean stern" "Honk If You Love Bare Back" "Kayakers Do It On An Angle" |
EPSS's stern stickers - Show your sentiments to one
and all. Choose from our four transom stickers.
All Stern Stickers $4.95 buy all four for 18.95 - Assorted colors |
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EPSS St Christopher statue - For those who haven't yet
mastered heeling to turn in rough conditions. Our St Christy has been
blessed by a BCU coach and is guaranteed to protect you from capsize for
two months (usually enough to learn everything you need to know about
handling a boat without a rudder) Plastic St Christy $7.95 IndiGlo St Christy $12.95 Genuine Inuit hand carved soapstone St Christy $175.00 All come in an attractive Kevlar gift box. |
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EPSS Paddlers' Cat - We have all wondered at how cats
always land right side up. Now we have applied cat technology to
paddling and offer a Paddler's Cat . Attach Paddler's Cat to the
deck of your kayak and you can heel safely in all conditions. If the
boat starts to heel too far, the Paddler's Cat will sense the heel and
instantly return the kayak to its upright position faster than a
stewardess in an emergency landing. Black Paddler's Cat, matches black deck rigging of most kayaks $122.95 |
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Purebred Siamese Paddler's Cat - Comes with papers and
attractive pink collar for when you want to walk the cat ashore.
$450.95 |
| (Sorry, no pictures of feral cats) | Feral Male Paddler's Cat not guaranteed to stay
on the boat but Feral Paddler's Cat emits a load howl that caries for
great distances. Perfect for paddling in fog. Our Feral Paddler's Cat - Assorted colors - $35.95 All Paddler's Cats come with owner's manual and one month's supply of dry food. |
Copyright 1999, 2000, 2001 The Evangelical Church of Rudderless
Paddlers, RR #2, Burks Falls, Ontario, Canada.